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[BottomBurner[mp]]

I find being a switch harder than being just Dominant or submissive. Now granted, I've never been just Dominant, but I did start out as just submissive. Anyway, the question is this: How hard do you find it to meet both sides needs? For me its hard to switch between roles on the fly, so if I do a scene as the Dominant I'll pretty much stay in that Dominant role for a while. At least a couple of hours if not the rest of the day. At those times its hard for me to get my needs as a submissive met, especially since I've never really liked asking anyone to "cap up".

[Leo]

oh i agree so much
i have the ability to be subby then Dom so far as sceneing however i know most find it hard to be Dom then sub i live D/s as a Dom however we started as switches though she couldnt spank her Sir so i ended up staying Dom i have a subside which is active for my Mistress and even my Dom side is present with Hher i also have a little in AP and have tried being grown up and i couldnt do it so i stick to little ageplay

[dilligaf]

Its funny to see this now, as this very topic of conversation came up for me just last night...

I have always been a switch, although it took me forever to admit to my submissive needs, and even longer to my Dominant ones.  It took the love and support of a very special person who had the strength and patience that allowed me to grow. 

I agree with you 100% about switching "on the fly"  I find it exceptionally difficult on an emotional level to be Dominant one moment and submissive the next.  I dont have a time frame per se, but if I am submissive, then thats the role I stay in, and vice versa...

Having said that I havnt found it difficult meeting or having my needs met.  I think with both parties working together and with open communication the relationship between both switches can work very well.  Id like to believe if you have the love and support of a good partner, those times when the need within you conflicts are very rare and easily resolved.

[dilligaf]

blinks trying to decipher alla that and hands you a few spare periods and commas

[minxyprincess[BB]]

I agree with all of you that balance is important.  Switching between roles isn't hard for me per se', but I find that the submissive tendencies are always there.  I often ask questions of my sub, and try to do as much as possible of what he wants.  I don't know if that stems from my own insecurities of being a Domme or from the fact that I am just submissive by nature.

I think my biggest problem is I have always been one to put my own needs on the back burner.  Whatever the other person wants even if its completely not what I want or need at the time.  I am getting a little better about vocalizing what I need, I think, but the need to make sure everyone else is happy first is still there.

I am feeling more secure about asking for what I want and communicating that.  As far as you are concerned my Love, if you need something please ask.  I want to do what I can to make sure we are both getting our needs met.  That conversation we had on the phone that one time really seemed to help.  I hope that things are okay and your needs are being met.  (Is probably becoming a nag about asking that)

Anyways, I love you Sir, and as long as we are open and honest with each I think we will find the balance.

[dilligaf]

I rarely cap my nick faolan[D] because for me its not very important...but I will cap if it is important to who I am interacting with at the time.

Those who know me know that my Dominant side is always "on" .  Its very much a part of who I am.  I have (suprisingly) found that it is the stronger part of me...

 Also, when venturing outside my home, aka the world of Spanksite, I have found that when wearing a Cap that I am inundated with messages from people looking.  Some are rather forceful and demanding, and it takes away from the time I may want to spend with one individual. 

Right or wrong I have no idea, but it works for me, and it works for whomever I interact with.

[Leo]

hopes he knows the identaty of said individual

[dilligaf]

lol subtle boy, subtle

[Leo]

* Leo smiles

subtle whats that mean??

[marissalynn]

Hmmm.. interesting topic. I have switched to a Top role once in my life when I was in ageplay... and although it was very rewarding.. I have to say that in the end it just completely destroyed me. I am 100 percent submissive and there's no part of me that could ever pretend that I could take the Dominant role.

I am not good with being strict or stern, and I dont have it in me to be able to do what a Dominant does. I admire Dominants for what they are able to do... and I have no idea how they can do it.

Submission has always been a part of who I am and I don't think...no matter how hard I try, that I could ever be a successful Cap at all. Its just not in me..... i like being a submissive so i think i'll stick with that for awhile.